Subject to their husbands in everything?

I often lean pretty heavy on the men anyway, as I am a man who takes my role very seriously before the Lord and can see my own failures too often. I wish to lead with love and grace for the protection and edifying of my family, and feel the burden of responsibility on a husband and father may be even greater than I had previously thought. How much we need the Lord's help as we are incapable of accomplishing this or anything else in the flesh!

Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing."


Ephesians 5 says that wives submit to their husbands, 1) as to the Lord, 2) in everything. This command is not worded the same way regarding submitting to one another or to those in authority over us in other passages. Those passages are seemingly more general and in part seem ambiguous as to when we should submit one to another, whereas the husband/wife and Christ/church are specified as "in everything" We ought to obey God rather than man as the apostles did in Acts 5:29 , yet I have been considering whether this is the same with a husband and wife as it would be with other Christians.

The following passage is what got me thinking as it says that the man who is disobedient to the Word should still be obeyed. This passage explains:

1 Peter 3: "1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands(not all men); that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
5 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:"

Here Peter speaks of a woman respecting and being in subjection to her husband even when he is disobedient to the word, being won without a word. It speaks of trust in God rather than crafting a plan that is wise in human understanding. This mindset does not agree with our culture, not even church culture where women often feel that if their husband is not leading well that they should fill in the role for the men.

First of all, we must recognize that a wife in this situation could be wrong in her assertion of her husband's error. The point is also often missed that the problem could be a disobedient wife. Let us not forget the curse on Eve and her daughters "and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee." The charge is given to the man to rule over his wife, and the responsibility is left on his head if things go wrong. If I don't agree with how our local judge does his job, that does not mean I have the authority to take his place. Much more so, a man who is ordained by God as head of his home cannot be disregarded even if he is wrong, which I fully admit happens often. 

As Paul wrote in Romans 11:22 "Behold therefore the goodness and severity of God: on them which fell, severity; but toward thee, goodness, if thou continue in his goodness!" 

and again in verse 33: "O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! how unsearchable are his judgments, and his ways past finding out! Whether or not we understand how and why God has placed this authority in order, we are bound to obey it and see that He is always just and righteous! 

What then can a man do if he has not lived up to his role? He can recognize his fault, agree with God and His Word, and proceed in the power of the Holy Spirit as he has been called to do. It must be understood that if the men will not see their error and take up the lead for their family, it does not fall to the women to take over, it just means the men need to step up! David would not harm God's anointed man in Saul, though Saul sought and attempted many times to kill him, and this serves as an extreme yet appropriate example of trusting the Lord even when people fail.

There are many things a woman may still do for her family that fit within this structure, but examining each decision through the lens of God's Word will yield better results than using human wisdom and logic, which so often is contrary to God's wisdom and commands.

This message from Peter does not sound to me like those men who "ask the boss" permission or fearfully avoid making decisions, but men who value their wives counsel and lead in God's ways even when his wife disagrees. Men will give an account to God for their actions and how they lead their families.Wives will give no such account and should consider how blessed they are not to have that accounting with God.
The notion of husband and wife submitting to one another is an incorrect understanding of Ephesians 5 and is contradictory to Scripture. Placing the general submissive relationship of all saints with the husband and wife scenario could pollute people's perception of God Himself.

1 Corinthians 11: 3 "But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. (note that God and Christ are one, as husband and wife are one, with different roles but unity)
4 Every man praying or prophesying, having his head covered, dishonoureth his head.
5 But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoureth her head: for that is even all one as if she were shaven.
6 For if the woman be not covered, let her also be shorn: but if it be a shame for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her be covered.
7 For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man.
8 For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man.
9 Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.

o

This is not an issue of worth, value, gifting for service, love, or anything but authority. The wife is co-heir with her husband of Christ, salvation, and righteousness. She is precious, to be honored and loved, but she is not to be placed over her husband in authority for any reason. 

A husband certainly can delegate jobs to his wife as she is able and available, as Christ has given us jobs to do and equipped us by His grace to carry out all things that we are commanded to do. Still the authority and the responsibility will always lie on Him and the husband in kind. What a beautiful picture of Christ and His Bride we have here, that we serve as He gives us ability, but always under His authority. Christ has given Himself for us in death, but more so in life 

Evangelism Friday- movie night

We have been blessed by many a Christian film, but most of the films produced with Christian themes have been produced for Christians by Christians. This is great for encouragement and edification, but with the rise of such films as Flywheel, Facing the Giants, Fireproof, and now Courageous we see that the Gospel can go forth through the medium of film. These films by Sherwood Pictures give a message of truth and challenge from God's Word.

I suggest taking the step that many have already taken, that is to put on a movie night at your home or church building with the intent to invite the lost to an excellent film that also includes a solid Gospel message. There are specific rules that govern public showing of movies like this, so be sure to check out this link before showing the film in a way that would require permissions beyond the simple purchase of a DVD.

See this link before scheduling a public showing to avoid any illegal public screening of movies. A warning from the site: ""When you purchase a regular DVD, the movie companies are giving you permission to view the film in your home with family members. The license provided with that DVD does not extend to a public showing of the film. This is true of all films." Whether or not you agree with special rules for public viewings, it is the law and Christians should go the extra mile to be sure to keep a good testimony before God and men.

With all that said, we suggest buying a copy of this DVD to show to your family, and maybe buy an extra copy to loan out or give to someone who would be blessed by this film. Use the link below to purchase from our Amazon store, or check the links in the right column of this blog to purchase from Christianbo

See this link before scheduling a public showing to avoid any illegal public screening of movies. A warning from the site: ""When you purchase a regular DVD, the movie companies are giving you permission to view the film in your home with family members. The license provided with that DVD does not extend to a public showing of the film. This is true of all films." Whether or not you agree with special rules for public viewings, it is the law and Christians should go the extra mile to be sure to keep a good testimony before God and men.

~Go into all the world and preach the Gospel to every creature~

Biblical patriarchy and the modern man

I plan to start a series here in the near future on the place of Biblical patriarchy and the modern family. I know there will be some roadblocks to overcome and some things that we might have to disagree with folks on, but I think it is imperative that Christian men step up to the plate and do the job to which they have been called.

The Cowperthwaite Family August 2010

I see the responsibility before God to love my wife as Christ loved the church, and I shudder to think how often I fail at this. By God's grace, I hope to grow in wisdom and practice of those things we are learning from God's Word. Concerning raising children, we know there are many techniques and much to which we do not wish to make mandates where the Bible is silent, but we will bring to light some of the things to which God has made things clear. We know we are to train our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, to be the example for the younger men, and so much more.

In the process, we will surely find more failures (at least in my own life) but I am confident that these things when powered by the Holy Spirit and the truth of God's Word will bring us into obedience of the fulness of God's plan for men in the family.

Who is with me?

Who will take responsibility?

This post was in response to one by my brother in Christ, Nathanael Pena. His blog can be found at http://nathanaelpena.blogspot.com/2010/06/what-would-you-do_12.html My prayer at the meeting this AM was for the young men and women that have served so faithfully in the Gospel work here. It was also for those of us with more experience (as Christians more so than Gospel specific), that we need to be like Ed McCully's father, in seeking God's will for our children and letting God lead them. So often we impose our desires on them, and forget that we are not raising children, but hopefully raising reponsible, competent adults that love the Lord and will serve Him according to His leading. That may not be the same as our wants for them, but we must trust that God will take care of those whom He calls.  Some parents will be Dr. McCullys, but not nearly enough. I pray there are more of them.

Others parents will "tolerate" their children's desire to do something for the Lord, but in their hearts will not trust God to take care of them, and seek to discourage those that so earnestly want to be used by God for whatever He burdens their hearts to do in His service.

Still other young folks have parents that are not Christians. These young men and women need so desperately the support, advice, prayer, and discipleship from those in their lives that have experience and a track record for trusting God. Should we not rather be seeking them out, praying for them, and offering ourselves rather than waiting for them to have to ask us?

Sadly, there are many that get on fire for the Lord only to be doused by the bucket brigade. The older generation (I put myself at 35 in that category) will have to take up the slack for these unfaithful  parents, to find these that are yearning for a life example, a mentor, and we are responsible before the Lord for this work.

Whether or not we ever have another fellowship dinner, get the carpets cleaned, or have time for our pet projects, we must take these young ones under our wing, so to speak, and invest in their lives. So many have been left to disciple themselves, missing out along the way the sweet fellowship and relationships that come as we study God's Word together, and exemplify that type of life that was characterized by Paul and Timothy.
I could go on forever, but I want also to thank Nathanael and so many others like him in this generation coming up, for thinking about these things, for speaking up publicly, and for their zeal for the Savior.

The young men will often be pulled aside and put in places of responsibility, or maybe even discipled if they beg hard enough. The young ladies, however, have all too often been set aside, to our shame! The excuses are plentiful, but we can no longer make excuses. This generation will be lost to us, and we will see God work in spite of us too often. Others will be discouraged and become ineffective for God. Isn't it worth our time for each of us to prayerfully consider our role to play in this?

I know the excuses, sadly they have fallen from my lips also  But no more, folks. The following is my perception, not to glorify my wife, nor to tear anyone else apart. I just know her schedule and her passion for young ladies. If my 27 year old wife with 4 children can cook the meals, clean the home, educate our children, be a godly wife, offer hospitality on average 4-5 meals per week in our home, share the Gospel at parks and other places, along with a million other things, and still find time to talk on the phone, write to, pray for, and spend time with a few of these young ladies, then I can't imagine there are too many reasons that others could not do it too. I know other wives and mothers, singles, widows and working ladies that take the time because it is a priority in their eyes. Many are involved in this important work in varying degrees and various ministries, and for that I praise the Lord, but far too many are not. I am not trying to tear anyone apart, but we all need to ask ourselves "Couldn't we do more?" I want no one to disregard their families or other responsibilities, but we must prioritize and get all those things done for which the Lord has given us responsibility.

People make time for yoga, dance lessons, crafts, days at the beach, getting hair and nails done, gardening, pets, and a million other things that don't matter at all in the scope of eternity and building Christ's church. Will we make time to ensure that the next generation has every tool we have to offer to live out God's call for their  lives? Do we not think it is our responsibility?  I can hear it now, "Am I my brother's keeper?" YES, you are! So am I, as are we all. One body, unified in Christ, for His glory, obeying the commands the Lord has given us in His Word!

Men always say they are so busy with work and family things that they can't take this on even with their own children, but if you have time for sports, fishing, watching TV, working out, keeping up with all the news of the world, and disregard the need for young men to be shown how to practically live for the Lord, then you have your priorities mixed up.

I have found myself over the years caught in silly wastes of time, and have had to repent to God for my unfaithfulness. We must be careful not to let those things that are enjoyable and fun become more important than what the Lord has commanded us to do! We must not be satisfied with how things are, but ever strive to be more like the Lord Jesus Christ who always was teaching, reaching the lost, and showing others how they could be used for God's purposes. We are an adulterous lot, giving our love to the world rather than to Him who deserves preeminence in all areas of our lives.

Wake up, sleepy Chrisians!! Repent and do the things you did when you first met the Savior, when you accepted His mercy and grace, and laid on Him who knew no sin your list of wicked and abominable acts! I speak as one who too often lets down his guard and allows apathy any ground. I speak as a man who has repented of my lack of love for the Lord, my irresponsibility, and my unfaithfulness. I am heartbroken for some of these young folks that have no examples in their lives, who wander about and desperately seek someone to take them along, walking together toward whatever God leads them to do for His glory and pleasure. Please understand my heart, don't take these words as judgmental, but pleading in love for God's glory.

One more thing: I put myself in the category of "older generation" but want to expound on that. If you are retired and have time to plant a garden, redecorate the house, or play bridge, you have time to disciple one or more of these. I keep hearing from retirees "I am too busy" well you had time for all you do plus work not that long ago. Can we really make these excuses? if you are working through retirement just to have the nicer house, new car, or the latest entertainment system, can you honestly say you can't take a few hours a week to pray for and study or serve alongside a young believer that needs you?  I am not saying to sell your car or that you should not take care of your home, just to honestly, before the Lord, judge ourselves. 

You that are wiser and more experienced have so much to offer these dear ones. Some don't think they have much to say, much to teach, but do not be deceived. You are who God commands to instruct us younger folks, with each generation passing down the stories of God's provision, His glory, of revival, of trials the Lord has seen you through. You have a gift to those who are younger, and you must not let this wisdom and experience be wasted.

For us younger ones, we must give honor and respect to those who will come alongside and try to help. Encouragement is always welcomed, but at times admonition is more needed. In all things, for love of one another and with an eye on what God would have for us, not what we would wish the Lord to do. We are His people, the sheep of His pasture. We must fix our eyes on Him, with no excuses, but only repentance and willingness to ask for His strength in these things.

Let's be like Dr. McCully and so many more that have raised their children to desire God's labors as their primary goal in life, to seek His glory, to build up one another in love and train those that are younger or less mature in the faith. Paul's heart was so broken in love for the churches, and my heart breaks each time I see a young person that thinks their life is about the American dream. Let me tell you, the American dream is not God's dream. God's  heart is for His people to obey Him, to love Him, and to reach out with His love to others so that the bride of Christ will be pure and undefiled, seeking nothing but her dear Bridegroom's face.