I recently read this article on a friend's website. I have verified many of the facts contained herein on other occasions in my study of the church and state's place in other issues, including the oxymoronic "marriage for homosexuals". Voddie Baucham did a great job discussing that issue in his blog post "Is gay the new black?" and I highly recommend reading that article also.
This article delves into how marriage was taken out of the realm of God's authority and given to the state or even placed in the hands of the Catholic church during the Reformation. Lots more inside that most people who have not studied marriage in the Bible to modern times will be shocked to see.
Read the article and research the facts yourself. Go to God's Word and be convinced
As we walk through the trials that come with standing on God's Word, this portion of Scripture has often served to remind us that we are not alone in our suffering. Indeed, there are many in this world who suffer for doing wrong, and they are rightly judged. Conversely, there are also many who suffer for doing what is righteous and godly, too often at the hands of their brothers and sisters in Christ who have zeal without knowledge. I hope this letter serves to encourage those who have endured persecution for their stand on God's Word regarding marriage.
We will begin by considering a portion of Peter's first epistle. Having endured great trials himself, Peter shares his heart with those receiving the letter and reminds them that the holy and righteous savior, Jesus Christ the Lord, also suffered wrong and patiently endured it. Surely we can agree that much of what we endure truly is momentary, light affliction compared with the public execution of God's only begotten Son.
1 Peter 2 (NASB)
16 "Actas free men, and do not use your freedom as a covering for evil, but use itas bondslaves of God.
17 Honor all people, love the brotherhood, fear God, honor the king.
The Christian patriarch of our day has an uphill battle ahead of him. With feminism taking a firm hold in most cultures around the world and the majority of the church, patriarchy may well be the most misunderstood Biblical teaching of our day. The word "patriarch" for some stirs up an image of a strict legalist who runs his home with an iron fist. Some in conservative Christian circles have laid hold of the term, but make special notice to distance themselves from certain aspects of patriarchy as demonstrated and prescribed in God's Word. This is sad to me, as in my opinion one of the necessary characteristics of a true patriarch is that of ruling well his own household, a belief which has been compromised to include egalitarianism.
Just as the characteristics of Biblical elders and deacons, the issue is less about how many children a man may have been blessed with (as some have held the standard), and more of how one cares for and manages that which is under his authority. The patriarch has been given a great responsibility from the Lord, a stewardship to lead his family in the ways of the Lord by teaching and example. If a man does not love his wife nor train his children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, he has surely failed to accomplish the goals which were given to his charge.
The issue of headship is not one of worth nor even ability, but of obedience and faithfulness. A weak and simple man who will be faithful to obey all that God has given to his charge is truly more effective in representing Christ than would one with great intellect and accolades of men that relies on his own strength and disobeys the Lord in favor of doing things his own way.
A man is truly strong when he recognizes that he is weak, humbly allowing the strength of God to be manifested in his life. After all, the picture of a husband and wife is to proclaim Christ and the church. With the Lord Jesus Christ as our supreme example, we fall on our faces in humility and gratitude for the privilege to serve our families as Christ served the church. He is the King of Kings, yet His triumphal entry into Jerusalem was on the foal of a donkey. The One whose blood would cleanse away every stain of sin took upon Himself the duties of a servant, washing the feet of those under His authority. These pictures of humility and exemplary service surely show us that we should not be prideful or harsh to those under our charge.
In contrast, Jesus also said "If you love me, you will keep my commandments." Surely, the Savior is trustworthy in all things. Though husbands and fathers are surely human and quite capable of mistakes, nevertheless they are the trusted servants to whom Christ Himself has entrusted with a charge of headship and leadership. Thus, the godly man who understands his place will be trustworthy. There surely will be conflict and disagreement in some situations that arise in the home. The mark of a true patriarch will not be that there is never conflict, but rather how he leads through that conflict.
Josiah Matthew Cowperthwaite was born at 606pm on July 14th, 2012. This was a long, arduous labor but definitely worth the work! Josiah is our earliest baby yet, at 23 days prior to "due date", but all in God's perfect timing. Lots of stories to tell in this labor and delivery, but the important parts is he is here, everyone is healthy, and God has richly blessed our family yet again.
1 Unless the LORD builds the house, They labor in vain who build it; Unless the LORD guards the city, The watchman keeps awake in vain.
2 It is vain for you to rise up early, To retire late, To eat the bread of painful labors; For He gives to His beloved even in his sleep.
3 Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward.
4 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one's youth.
5 How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them; They will not be ashamed When they speak with their enemies in the gate.
I often lean pretty heavy on the men anyway, as I am a man who takes my role very seriously before the Lord and can see my own failures too often. I wish to lead with love and grace for the protection and edifying of my family, and feel the burden of responsibility on a husband and father may be even greater than I had previously thought. How much we need the Lord's help as we are incapable of accomplishing this or anything else in the flesh!
Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing."
Ephesians 5 says that wives submit to their husbands, 1) as to the Lord, 2) in everything. This command is not worded the same way regarding submitting to one another or to those in authority over us in other passages. Those passages are seemingly more general and in part seem ambiguous as to when we should submit one to another, whereas the husband/wife and Christ/church are specified as "in everything" We ought to obey God rather than man as the apostles did in Acts 5:29 , yet I have been considering whether this is the same with a husband and wife as it would be with other Christians.
The following passage is what got me thinking as it says that the man who is disobedient to the Word should still be obeyed. This passage explains:
1 Peter 3: "1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands(not all men); that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
5 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:"
Here Peter speaks of a woman respecting and being in subjection to her husband even when he is disobedient to the word, being won without a word. It speaks of trust in God rather than crafting a plan that is wise in human understanding. This mindset does not agree with our culture, not even church culture where women often feel that if their husband is not leading well that they should fill in the role for the men.
First of all, we must recognize that a wife in this situation could be wrong in her assertion of her husband's error. The point is also often missed that the problem could be a disobedient wife. Let us not forget the curse on Eve and her daughters "and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee." The charge is given to the man to rule over his wife, and the responsibility is left on his head if things go wrong. If I don't agree with how our local judge does his job, that does not mean I have the authority to take his place. Much more so, a man who is ordained by God as head of his home cannot be disregarded even if he is wrong, which I fully admit happens often.
As Paul wrote in Romans 11:22 "Behold therefore the goodness and severity of God: on them which fell, severity; but toward thee, goodness, if thou continue in his goodness!"
and again in verse 33: "O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! how unsearchable are his judgments, and his ways past finding out! Whether or not we understand how and why God has placed this authority in order, we are bound to obey it and see that He is always just and righteous!
What then can a man do if he has not lived up to his role? He can recognize his fault, agree with God and His Word, and proceed in the power of the Holy Spirit as he has been called to do. It must be understood that if the men will not see their error and take up the lead for their family, it does not fall to the women to take over, it just means the men need to step up! David would not harm God's anointed man in Saul, though Saul sought and attempted many times to kill him, and this serves as an extreme yet appropriate example of trusting the Lord even when people fail.
There are many things a woman may still do for her family that fit within this structure, but examining each decision through the lens of God's Word will yield better results than using human wisdom and logic, which so often is contrary to God's wisdom and commands.
This message from Peter does not sound to me like those men who "ask the boss" permission or fearfully avoid making decisions, but men who value their wives counsel and lead in God's ways even when his wife disagrees. Men will give an account to God for their actions and how they lead their families.Wives will give no such account and should consider how blessed they are not to have that accounting with God.
The notion of husband and wife submitting to one another is an incorrect understanding of Ephesians 5 and is contradictory to Scripture. Placing the general submissive relationship of all saints with the husband and wife scenario could pollute people's perception of God Himself. 1 Corinthians 11: 3 "But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. (note that God and Christ are one, as husband and wife are one, with different roles but unity)
4 Every man praying or prophesying, having his head covered, dishonoureth his head.
5 But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoureth her head: for that is even all one as if she were shaven.
6 For if the woman be not covered, let her also be shorn: but if it be a shame for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her be covered.
7 For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man.
8 For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man.
9 Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.
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This is not an issue of worth, value, gifting for service, love, or anything but authority. The wife is co-heir with her husband of Christ, salvation, and righteousness. She is precious, to be honored and loved, but she is not to be placed over her husband in authority for any reason.
A husband certainly can delegate jobs to his wife as she is able and available, as Christ has given us jobs to do and equipped us by His grace to carry out all things that we are commanded to do. Still the authority and the responsibility will always lie on Him and the husband in kind. What a beautiful picture of Christ and His Bride we have here, that we serve as He gives us ability, but always under His authority. Christ has given Himself for us in death, but more so in life
I believe that when I publish this post, it will mean the end of many people reading our blog, supporting our ministry, and having Christian fellowship with us. Such response is not Biblical, necessary, or even logical, but it has happened with many already and so we accept that standing on God's Word often receives such a response.
Those who know us personally and have labored in the Gospel with us, ministered to families alongside us, and have heard me teach and preach God's Word know that I not only speak truth, but live it out daily by God's grace. I fail often, but my heart's desire is to please the Lord in all things. Our desire is not to offend, but to stand up for those Christians who have been persecuted for their beliefs or practices.
Clear in conscience before the Lord my Judge and my Savior, Jesus Christ the Righteous,
~Mark Cowperthwaite
Review of "Man and Woman in Biblical Law" by Tom Shipley
I was given a copy of this book by the author, Tom Shipley, whom I met in the home of a friend. Mr. Shipley's work in this book is well researched, documented with large doses of Scripture, and I believe fairly deals with a difficult and divisive issue that need not be divisive in my opinion. This is not an issue of means of salvation, but of practical obedience and family life and therefore I believe it should be discussed calmly and rationally by Christians who come upon the subject. I do not necessarily agree with the assertion that there must be a return to complete obedience to Biblical (OT) Law in order for plural marriage to be instituted, though I see great value in doing so.
My wife and I have read and discussed this book and the Biblical passages it presents at length, and we see many possible blessings possible from such an arrangement, but we think it best to practice Biblical plural marriage only if one feels specifically compelled by God to do so as there are also many complications and challenges to life in a plural marriage. Men should not marry one woman for the purpose of proving a point, nor should we take that approach to polygyny. We ought to be led by the Holy Spirit, in agreement with the Scriptures, for the glory of God rather than practice something for the sake of sensationalism or any motive other than love and responsibility to care for those we love and have been given charge over.
I have been harshly rebuked for even suggesting the acceptance or practice of polygyny in the United States or the Christian church anywhere in the world. Indeed it is not my desire to suggest people practice plural marriage at all, especially if one is not already fulfilling the roles and responsibilities given to men as husbands and fathers. My primary desire in this issue is that we not unfairly judge those who feel led by God, in accordance with Scripture, to take more than one wife. Many who practice this Biblical practice have been excommunicated, dispatched from profitable ministry, and been rejected from Christian fellowship. This is not about cults, Mormonism, Islam, but about men stepping up to whatever God's call is on their life and family, to fulfill the role of Biblical patriarchy.
I suggest that if one is merely intellectually interested in the topic of polygamy due to recent popular TV shows, you may do well to spend your time reading something else. For those seeking to find God's plan for the family, or Biblical patriarchy so-called, (with one wife or multiple wives) this book may open your eyes to much of the background of the Old Testament.
If you are open to finding what God says rather than what people think about it, then you might just find that the Bible actually says nothing derogatory about polygamy, but rather even blesses it in the historical record at times. There is a renewed interest in polygamy in our culture for many reasons, not the least of which is the failure of many American men to stand by their wives, provide for their children, and lead their families as men are commanded in God's Word.
I believe the American church at large has left much of the Biblical pattern for life and the function of the church behind, and I feel this is just one of those issues that most folks are unwilling to assess solely from God's Word. Rather we have been met with accusations, name calling, and character assault which are unbecoming to Christians. This book and its contents seem to bring out those very things in the fleshly nature of man, though most Christians may agree with the author's views on feminism and men's roles in the family.
It is always through careful study of God's Word and prayer that the Holy Spirit leads us, but often Christians rely instead on the culture and traditions (whether or not they are based in Scripture) rather than being truly Berean in our approach to things.
I enjoyed the book and found it very informative. I do not agree with ALL of the assertions, but overall do agree with Mr. Shipley's assessment of patriarchy along with men's and women's roles in Biblical Law. The follow-up to this book "They shall be one flesh" is not available on Amazon, but is an excellent book also. It addresses many questions raised by the first book and delves a bit deeper into marriage traditions in the Bible. I have yet to study that book thoroughly and so will not share yet my opinions on that work.
A few months ago, we stayed in the home of some new friends. It is always a blessing getting to know brothers and sisters in Christ, and this stay was a special blessing in many ways. We were in Florida for a week, staying with multiple families over the course of our 3 city trip, and we were exhausted already with tired children, also preparing for a move to Maine the upcoming week. When we arrived at Nathan's home, the hospitality was superb, and the fellowship of Christians was great. A few other families gathered to meet us for dinner as well, adding to the blessing. We were reminded that night that the fellowship of Christians is not limited to those we know well, but any who are brothers and sisters in Christ are instant friends.
As we spoke about our Savior, our families, convictions, about digging deep into God's Word, and the cultural traditions of the American church, even the persecution seen when we break man's rules and tradition in obedience to the Lord's calling on our lives, our host mentioned a book he had that might speak to some of our thoughts and discussions. He had just one copy of this book, Why Do You Believe That? and I read the book at bed time that night.
As a Christian man with deep convictions and a desire to always learn more of God's Word, I of course devoured the book in no time. I finally fell asleep at 3am, though I finished reading hours earlier. I needed to consider the thoughts shared in this book by God's Word (the point of the book) and pray. I had a great time of prayer that night, so lack of sleep didn't seem to matter. I asked if Nathan knew where to get more copies, and he thought the book was out of print, so I was especially blessed recently to find the book listed for sale on Amazon.You can use the link below to buy the book through our store.
Though it was a short read, a mere 148 pages, this book surprised me. It was conversational, gentle, and yet challenging. Along with many other books that have been handed to me over the years, I found this book contained some things that I agreed with immediately, some that I disagreed with, and many more that required further study. I had been led to study marriage and Biblical patriarchy for months as we noticed the demise of the family in our society, and looked forward to finding a book that stood on Biblical truth more than popular opinion. That is precisely the point of this book, though. He asks a lot of questions and will make you think, and though the book is about common misunderstandings about marriage in the Bible, it urges every step of the way that the reader would seek God's Word above all. We need more people who will study God's Word in the church today, and a little friendly debate wouldn't hurt either in my estimation.
The author does not want you to just believe what he says, but rather urges you to study God's Word on the topic at hand and every topic. He urges you to truly "be a Berean" in your approach to knowledge of God's Word, and in so doing shares the fallacies often seen when men neglect context, setting, audience, and other study tools that help us understand God's Word as it was meant to be studied.. He speaks of exegesis, that is taking what is in the text for what it says and seeing what it was intended to say as truth. Many people rather bring their beliefs to the Bible and find some verse or even part of a verse that seems to agree. They might even ignore context, audience, or skip large passages that disagree with their beliefs. We must seek to know what God wants, says, and intends if we are to obey Him and know Him more intimately. If you are not familiar with this term "Berean", you would do well to consider Acts 17:10-15
"The brethren immediately sent Paul and Silas away by night to Berea, and when they arrived, they went into the synagogue of the Jews. Now these were more noble-minded than those in Thessalonica, for they received the word with great eagerness, examining the Scriptures daily to see whether these things were so.
Therefore many of them believed, along with a number of prominent Greek women and men. But when the Jews of Thessalonica found out that the word of God had been proclaimed by Paul in Berea also, they came there as lwell, agitating and stirring up the crowds. Then immediately the brethren sent Paul out to go as far as the sea; and Silas and Timothy remained there. Now those who escorted Paul brought him as far as Athens; and receiving a command for Silas and Timothy to come to him as soon as possible, they left."
We see here what it means when the author calls us to "be Berean" in our approach to knowledge, that is to weigh out the teachings of men comparing them to the Scriptures to check the validity of the information. We see in the following verses of this passage that this truth was contrary to culture and therefore caused persecution for those preaching the Gospel of Jesus of Nazareth as Messiah and Savior.
I believe it is important that we seek to extend ourselves beyond the groups of people with which we are comfortable, to listen to differing viewpoints and learn to love our brothers and sisters in Christ even when we disagree at times. Truth is truth, and I am not advocating heresy or relativism, just a willingness to see what the Scripture actually says without adding our own assumptions. This is easier said than done to be sure. There are some Scriptures that are clear or at least seem clear depending on the context of our culture. Other passages are difficult to discern with complete certainty, or if we are not careful we miss what is there because we think we already know God's whole counsel on a subject.
Are we reading the Bible to find evidence for our own opinions, or do we truly seek to know God's mind even when it runs contrary to what we believe? This was the problem of the Pharisees, who added laws and traditions to God's Law and then crucified the Lord of glory because they held so tightly to their beliefs that they did not recognize the One who they proclaimed to obey. Are there any sacred cows in your life that you will not hear the voice of the Lord about? Are you adding cultural traditions and long held teachings of men to the Word of God and possibly persecuting those who disagree with you without cause? Can you humble yourself enough to say "I was wrong, please forgive me"
Those that know our family have seen our vehement stance on the authority of God's Word even when it is not popular or forces us to change our own lives to obey new found understanding of God's truth. People have seen our testimony of sacrifice, service, and humility as we seek to honor our Savior in all things. Sadly our views on some things have set us at odds with the majority of Christendom. We have accepted that this type of radical obedience to God has given us many opportunities to encourage others to do the same. This is nothing good of us, but the reflection of Christ in His children by His grace.
We believe in the exegetical approach to God's Word, and strive to see what God actually says rather than try to get the Bible to agree with us or confirm what we already believe. How will we ever have unity in Christ unless we take this approach, to find the original intent of the Author who gave us the book for our edification and training?
This following of the Bible even when opposed to culture (even church culture) has put us in strange situations at times, as we see that in many areas we can have differing views on some subjects as Christians and yet be united. We also must recognize that some things are not ambiguous in God's Word and therefore must not be compromised in any way, shape, or form. How will we know which is which, or what side to take on an issue if we do not give due diligence to the whole counsel of God? I suggest that as a culture we have become apathetic and left it to the preachers and conference speakers to dig out the truth of God's Word. This is not acceptable in a society where we have multiple copies of the Bible in our language in most homes. Shame on us for not picking up that Word of God and cherishing it as the source of wisdom! Shame on us if we neglect the reading and study of the Bible and rather just watch the TV preacher, supposing we have no personal obligation to seek out His truth!
I may take up this thought more in another post, and urge you to consider Romans 14 as I have at length these last few months. That passage has reminded me that I ought not be a stumbling block to others, yet I must obey God even if that is not acceptable to others. These thoughts and many more are contained in this wonderful little book, and I highly recommend reading it. Even if you disagree with some of the points, I believe this book will be a great blessing and perhaps inspire you to dig even deeper into God's Word.
We have heard about a video produced by the Moore family called "Children are a Blessing" for some time now. We finally got to watch the video tonight, a 30 minute film that is available until April 30th free online.
Following the lives of this God honoring and faithful Christian family, the film concentrates on the contrast between the modern views of family planning and child bearing. Preventing pregnancy through contraception along with chemical and surgical abortion is challenged in light of God's Word which states without exception that children are a blessing from God. Families like the Moores leave the results of how few or how many children they will have entirely up to the Lord.
You can watch the film online HERE until April 30th. The DVD version of Children are a Blessing
includes much more footage and extras about the family, and is available at the link below through Amazon. As always, your purchases through our links support our family and ministry.
Sara and I enjoyed the film and look forward to seeing more films like these that speak of the sanctity of human life and the blessing that children are. We hope this film challenges folks to consider that God has given us a charge to be fruitful not only in producing children for His glory, but to train those children to be ambassadors for Jesus Christ, to raise them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. This is not about having as many children as possible, but rather trusting God with the planning of our families.
As I was pondering God's word this morning, I took some time to consider the life of King David. This Psalmist of Israel shares more emotion, pain, fear, and other aspects of humanity that any other author (in my opinion) used by the Holy Spirit to pen the Bible . These passages were recently brought up in another discussion, but I was struck primarily by the mercy of God upon David in his life and his legacy.
This king of Israel was historically and definitely a murderer and an adulterer, and yet due to his repentance in Psalm 51, God saw David as righteous. Evidently, though David was forgiven by God, the lesson still stands as a warning for those who seek other men's wives in direct disobedience to God's law. Consider David's life as a whole, as we do have much of his life accounted in God's Word, and see the blessings of God, the providence of God, the protection of God upon David.
1 Kings 15
3 And he walked in all the sins of his father, which he had done before him: and his heart was not perfect with the LORD his God, as the heart of David his father.
4 Nevertheless for David's sake did the LORD his God give him a lamp in Jerusalem, to set up his son after him, and to establish Jerusalem:
5 Because David did that which was right in the eyes of the LORD, and turned not aside from any thing that he commanded him all the days of his life, save only in the matter of Uriah the Hittite.
Solomon, David's son by Bathsheba, was also given mercy in God's sight, having disobeyed the command to not marry foreign wives. Still in this passage, we see David's heart as pure before the Lord. Solomon did build the temple as God ordained, as the plans were given to David. Solomon penned much of the poetic portion of the Old Testament, and yet with all the spiritual wisdom he was granted, the obvious typology of Christ in the Song of Solomon (or Song of Songs) was still tainted in our historical knowledge by the marrying of foreign wives who turned his heart away from God.
1 Kings 11
1 But king Solomon loved many strange women, together with the daughter of Pharaoh, women of the Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Zidonians, and Hittites;
2 Of the nations concerning which the LORD said unto the children of Israel, Ye shall not go in to them, neither shall they come in unto you: for surely they will turn away your heart after their gods: Solomon clave unto these in love.
3 And he had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines: and his wives turned away his heart.
4 For it came to pass, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned away his heart after other gods: and his heart was not perfect with the LORD his God, as was the heart of David his father.
5 For Solomon went after Ashtoreth the goddess of the Zidonians, and after Milcom the abomination of the Ammonites.
6 And Solomon did evil in the sight of the LORD, and went not fully after the LORD, as did David his father.
I am so blessed by God's gracious gift of my wife, that she loves me and labors with me, the helper that God has provided. She has not turned me astray to worship idols, but rather has been by my side as together we search the depths of God's Word and seek to obey without reservation. The Bible tells us that he who finds a wife finds a good thing. I have found that good thing, and pray that God shows mercy and blessing on our family as He did with David.
I found this article online recently and wanted responses from folks. This is in relation to the recent discussion on men standing up to the call of God to be spiritual leaders. I believe the author wished to remain anonymous, but I felt the content was important enough to share. I know the last article ruffled a few feathers, but again I wish to stress that what we are considering is the responsibility of men in the spiritual realm. We are not attacking women for any reason, but hoping to encourage and help them. Our goal is to see the family live up to what God planned in all things, for His glory. ~ Mark Cowperthwaite
The Patriarch's Teaching Responsibility
It is the responsibility of the patriarch to teach his family the Scriptures. No one else has been given this responsibility. It is a responsibility that he cannot delegate to others. He is the divinely appointed head of the home, and he alone is responsible for the spiritual welfare of those under his headship. This is a God-given responsibility that cannot be surrendered to anyone. This is a serious matter before God.
This, by the way, relates directly to the truth of "the church in thy house." A home, with extended family and guests, led in ministry by the head of that home - the husband and father. As a general principle, other family men may from time to time be there - ideally on a temporary learning basis, until they too can or will learn to take on their own God-given family responsibility. The primary teaching place is home. That is the standard of Scripture.
"And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord" (Ephesians 6:4).
"The father to the children shall make known Thy truth" (Isaiah 38:19b).
"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it" (Proverbs 22:6).
"And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up" (Deuteronomy 6:7).
"And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home" (I Corinthians 14:35).
"Can a pastor do this for your family? Can your child's Sunday School teacher? No. It is impossible. What God is describing in this text is a live-in spiritual tutor. One must live with the person he is discipling [training]. Jesus lived with His twelve disciples for three years. They ate and slept in His presence. All this talk about church discipleship is fantasy. So is the concept of home cell groups. These are phony substitutes.
"There seems to be something lost in a relationship between a parent and a child, if it is the decision of the parent to commission a third party to provide biblical instruction and spiritual nurture to the child in his stead. I argue that it is a dereliction of duty. Parents are to disciple their children. It is an immutable part of the vocation of parenthood.
"We naturally suppose that the 'institutional church' is the primary agent in proclaiming the Gospel and teaching the Word of God. That is the primary role assigned to the 'church' in our day. But it has not always been so. In early America, as it was in the earliest church, the Christian home was the spiritual center.
"It is impossible to provide the basis for Christian character and spiritual experience in one or two hours a week. Constant contact with a Christian leader is necessary. That is why the 'discipleship movement' was so popular in recent years. It recognized the inadequacy of the 'institutional church' to provide even the basic spiritual foundations in a persons life.
"Some people believe, as I was prone at one time, that if one wishes to do anything for God, one must do it within the confines of the 'church' apparatus that God's work is done primarily at 'church.' Actually, the family is the chief agent for the passing-on of the Christian faith from generation to generation.
"Even the work of evangelism, once thought to be the principle purpose of the pulpit preacher, is better done through the home. The most effective evangelist, as many men and women with tender emotion admit, is that of a godly mother or father. Better than three-fourths of all conversions come through the work of family and friends.
"It is a personal faith which must be transmitted, not an abstract and institutional one."
Genesis 6-10 contain the history of the family of Noah. This is one of the most well known stories of the Bible, and yet often I hear Noah proclaimed only as a preacher of righteousness and an ark builder, neglecting the great things I believe we can learn from his life as a father and husband. There are some details of Noah's life that speak volumes to the topics of obedience and faith, but also we can see those things that are seemingly taken for granted when discussing the worldwide flood that was the judgement of God on the wicked world.
For me, the first thing I noticed that made me look further into the life of Noah is found in Genesis 6:6-8. God says that He was sorry for making man on the earth, and that God was grieved. Oh, that I would never be one that grieves the Father heart of God, and yet apart from regeneration and faith in Christ Jesus, we will never do anything but grieve God. Glory to God for His gracious and merciful redemption of rebellious children through Christ Jesus our Lord and Savior!
What must it have been like for our Creator to wish that He had never made man, and then at the last of that passage we see what we see so often in Scripture. "But Noah found favor in the eyes of the Lord" Hope in the worst of situations, a righteous man emerges from the chaos and violence that filled the earth. Noah was a righteous man in God's sight, and he walked with God. I pray that the Lord finds me to be such a faithful man that I would find favor in His eyes. Indeed, I know I have found God's favor, as He has saved me by faith in Jesus Christ, bringing me back from the dead, pardoned from the judgment so rightfully deserved. Praise God for His mercy!
Looking more into the story of Noah, we see that God blessed him. Children are a blessing from the Lord, and Noah had three sons, a triple blessing! While in today's society, we often see that the sons of Christian men do not follow in their father's footsteps (or maybe they do, but they are not a good example) Noah's wife submitted to him and followed him onto the ark. Noah's sons and their wives also followed. It would seem to me that Noah not only loved his wife and led her according to God's will, but that he also served as an example of this to his sons, whose wives also submitted to get on the ark. In all, God saved the whole family of Noah because of his obedience. This speaks volumes about the daily life of a man, even if we have limited details about his life other than the events surrounding the flood.
Chapter 6 of Genesis ends with a phrase that I hope the Lord would ascribe to me at the end of this life: "Thus Noah did according to all that God had commanded him, so he did." That type of obedience is commendable, and I pray that I find the grace and strength to obey the Lord in all things. That is a laudable pattern for a husband, father, and man of God, a Biblical patriarch who leads his family in God's ways no matter the cost. Imagine the pain in Noah's heart as he heard those he had warned, maybe others in his extended family, the parents of his daughters in law, as they saw the rain coming too late, and could not be saved due to their lack of faith and obedience to the command of the Lord.
In Genesis 8 we see the heart of Noah, that though we don't see any command to do so, in verse 20" Noah built an altar to the Lord, and took of every clean animal and of every clean bird and offered burnt offerings on the altar. 21 The Lord smelled the soothing aroma..." This picture of sacrifice, of offering that which is pure and undefiled to God, is beautiful. God then declares that He will never again destroy the whole Earth by flood. This is a covenant still in effect, but also reminds me of the promised judgement that will come by fire according to 2 Peter 3:10-15a. Let us be reminded today of the promise of God of judgement of this world again, and also the blessing that follows:
But the day of the Lord will come like a thief, in which the heavens will pass away with a roar and the elements will be destroyed with intense heat, and the earth and its works will be burned up.
Since all things are to be destroyed in this way, what sort of people ought you to be in holy conduct and godliness, looking for and hastening the coming of the day of God, because of which the heavens will be destroyed by burning, and the elements melt with intense heat!
But according to His promise we are looking for new heavens and a new earth, in which righteousness dwells. Therefore, beloved, since you look for these things, be diligent to be found by Him in peace, spotless and blameless, and regard the patience of our Lord as salvation."
Will we be found faithful? Are we looking for, even hastening the day of God? What type of men ought we to be in light of all these things, including the example of Noah! What a responsibility given to men to lead their wives, children, and anything else given charge to them by God. We will continue our profiles next time with Abraham. I hope you will join me next time.
2 Peter 2:5 AMP "And He spared not the ancient world, but preserved Noah, a preacher of righteousness, with seven other persons, when He brought a flood upon the world of ungodly [people]."
It is intentional that I have left some comments without reference, as I believe those interested should rather go to God's Word to find the truth rather than just having it fed to them. I have shared some references below, but these are by no means exhaustive.
I challenge each one reading this article (which is targeted at men but profitable for all) to get into God's Word for yourself, and let the Holy Spirit show you the deep truths of His Word. This is part of being a man, and I hope to encourage that hunger for God's Word, yet if some need help I am willing so long as we are working together in this search for truth to obey for God's glory.
As we consider Biblical patriarchy, and what we should learn from the men of Biblical history, we should take some time considering the example of the life of Adam, the first man on Earth. His name literally means "man", and I have enjoyed finding some pictures of the puzzle from God's Word.
Though Cain, Abel, and Seth are the only ones named, other children are recorded in Genesis 5:4 also as being fruit of this first marriage in history. We see from the Genesis account that Adam had other sons and daughters and that Adam lived 930 years. While we do not have more record of those children, one would wonder how many children one might have if they lives for over 900 years. Maybe Adam gave the Duggars a run for their money, maybe not. We just don't know.
Adam and Eve had a marriage unlike any other in history. We can learn many good things from this first marriage and the physical parents of all mankind, but there are also some things that will be limited in scope as there is much silence also in the historical record. We know that Adam walked with God in the garden that was East of Eden. We know that Adam was a type of Jesus Christ in many ways and yet also failed in his calling from God and ultimately fell into sin even though he had firsthand knowledge of God's commands. What a variety of lessons we could learn from studying the life of Adam, but for now our focus will be on how Adam led his family.
Adam was formed first, and was given dominion over the animals. He was commissioned by God to name them and was told the boundaries of right and wrong in regards to the fruit of the trees in the garden. God had created this first man in the world, and then gave Adam a helper. We don't see the scope of what this role was in its entirety, but we see from many other passages that the woman's role was primarily not one of her own independence as Eve was literally created from Adam and as a suitable helper to him (Gen. 2:23). Eve was given a name by Adam, but we also see that she was known by Adam's name in God's sight (Gen.5:2) which would seem to be the practice by which we now see married women take the name of the husband.
The man is the spiritual head of the woman (1 Cor. 11:3-12; Eph.5:22-33; 1 Tim. 2:8-15) and given a great responsibility in the family, not lording it over those he leads, yet being firm in his convictions and living out the example of holiness for his family. While the Old Testament leaves some details unmentioned, we have lots of commentary on this first family in the New Testament. I encourage folks to consider the whole picture, and look up how often Adam is mentioned later on in the Bible.
As the Bible sums up Adam's history and genealogy, there is not much spoken concerning the parenting styles, discipline measures used, and so we are left to other men's lives to consider and need to continue looking if we are to find the pattern of Biblical patriarchy. Adam is not the poster child for parenting, as one son murdered the other, and Adam's weak leadership and protection of his wife allowed a serpent to deceive her and then join her in willful disobedience to God's clear and plain commands. When confronted, Adam blamed his wife (who he was responsible for) and in essence blamed God also, as it was God who gave the wife to him.
It appears that we will have to look a bit farther to find the perfect patriarch, husband and father. I am so glad that God didn't give up on the human race with the failure of the very first man. God's grace and mercy shine through in the failures of mankind, and it is through the victories and the defeats, the failures along with the successes that we see more clearly the complete picture of what God intended and allowed for marriage, parenting, and Biblical patriarchy. I am amazed at the mercy the Lord has shown to me in my failures, but more than anything, I am thankful for the perfect examples we see in God's own character on these topics.
Think for just a moment of some of the contrasts we find between Adam and God.
Adam failed to protect his wife, whereas Christ paid the ultimate price and will protect His bride from the ultimate effects and even the presence of sin forever.
Adam placed the blame on others for his faults, whereas Christ paid the debt for sin that was not His own.
Adam's sin brought death into the world and to all his progeny, whereas Christ died to keep sin from having power and dominion over His children. Christ provided life through death, and victory in seeming defeat.
Adam's helper was deceived and fell into sin, whereas the Holy Spirit (Helper) is all wise and keeps us from sin.
Adam had life breathed into his nostrils, whereas Christ is the Creator of life and gives eternal life to those who believe on Him.
I hope this short profile has helped you to see that even in human failure, we can see evidence of God's hand on a man's life. We see that in spite of the failures of man, God will accomplish His will, in His grace and mercy we get to be part of His plan for the world. While none of us live up completely to the fullness of God's character, we have many examples of the character of God through His dealings with mankind. Next up, we will look at a bit of the life of Noah to see what we can learn.
May we all seek the wisdom of the Lord and His strength to obey as we humbly accept the roles and responsibilities give to us by God. All glory to the Lord for the successes, and all glory to Him for His mercy as we falter along the way. One day, we shall see Him and we shall be like Him. What a glorious promise!
As we have decided to look at Biblical patriarchy, we might do well to look at what we mean by using this terminology. Since the phrase is not used in the Bible, and also the phrase is not used widely in society, we will share how some major proponents of Biblical patriarchy define it. See the links below for full articles that we suggest you consider.
From these sources, you will see that there are many different interpretations of Biblical patriarchy. Some look primarily to the Old Testament, others to the Bible in its entirety. To be sure, there are not many references to how a family functions in the New Testament outside of those referencing the OT. We do have a very diverse history to consider in God's Word, including some good and not-so-good examples. What we don't have is a definition of terms to some extent, and so we will be focusing on profiling men in the Bible along with their families.
For our consideration here, we wish to state up front that our understanding is that God created man, and is often referred to as "Father" in the Bible. This patriarchal picture of God Himself is going to be the richest example we will find of the positive aspects of manhood. We get a picture from some of the names of God. Use the links below for an associated study from Blue Letter Bible online. One should be very careful not to add God's characteristics to man, but we would do well to consider the character of God the Father when we consider God's perfect plan for the family and how we ought to see the father role in families.
Jehovah-Raah (The Lord My Shepherd)- Men are called to lead, protect, and care for their family.
Jehovah Shammah (The Lord Is There)- A man is called to integrity, to lead with consistency.
Qanna (Jealous)- As God is jealous when His beloved ones seek after another, so should man be jealous. This is no petty human emotion, but the result of dedication and responsibility.
Jehovah Jireh (The Lord Will Provide)- Men are commanded to provide for the family. If a man does not work, then he should not eat, and so we ought to be providers for our families.
A study of the character of the Lord Jesus Christ will also yield great results in the role of the husband. With the picture from God's Word of Christ as the Bridegroom and the church as the bride of Christ, we will learn much more about the role of men as husbands. Some examples we find at first glance:
Taking the name of the Bridegroom. The church is the bride of Christ, having its identity through Him.
Christ is the Savior and provider for His bride
We are commanded to love our wives as Christ loved the church, and gave Himself for her.
We are called in James 4 :4-5 says that Christians who love the world are adulteresses.
The term "Biblical patriarchy" is not a Biblical term, but is based on principles understood from God's Word. In my opinion any word such as "religion" can not be redefined without extreme caution, as it is used in the English Bible translations. With the regular use of terms in the Bible, we must be careful to define them as dictated by context and principles of Biblical translation.
To conclude our look at what Biblical patriarchy is, we consider this to be a good working definition:
"social organization, as exemplified in Biblical writings, that is marked by the supremacy of the father in the clan or family, the legal dependence of wives and children, and the reckoning of descent and inheritance in the male line" We will add to this thought as we progress and see examples of men who led their families throughout Biblical history.
In our next article, we plan to profile Adam. We hope you will join us as we explore Biblical patriarchy.
I plan to start a series here in the near future on the place of Biblical patriarchy and the modern family. I know there will be some roadblocks to overcome and some things that we might have to disagree with folks on, but I think it is imperative that Christian men step up to the plate and do the job to which they have been called.
The Cowperthwaite Family August 2010
I see the responsibility before God to love my wife as Christ loved the church, and I shudder to think how often I fail at this. By God's grace, I hope to grow in wisdom and practice of those things we are learning from God's Word. Concerning raising children, we know there are many techniques and much to which we do not wish to make mandates where the Bible is silent, but we will bring to light some of the things to which God has made things clear. We know we are to train our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, to be the example for the younger men, and so much more.
In the process, we will surely find more failures (at least in my own life) but I am confident that these things when powered by the Holy Spirit and the truth of God's Word will bring us into obedience of the fulness of God's plan for men in the family.
