"The Lord upholds all who are falling
and raises up all who are bowed down."
~Psalm 145: 14 ESV
This past weekend gave me some time off from writing to consider other things. I try to not study specific topics on the weekends, but prepare for and meditate on the worship of God, the preaching, the singing, the prayers, the fellowship. However, yesterday caught me off guard, though it should not have. With the changing of the clocks to Daylight Savings Time (a silly notion if ever I heard one) and our desire to enjoy the sunshine from its first light and rising above the horizon as we all watched together, we got out before church began to hold some Gospel signs at the intersection near our church.
This is one way we use to encourage Christians to be bold in their faith and unashamed to speak, by being public with our love for the Lord and for others to know and worship Him as well. To the unregenerate, it must seem that our family is either mentally ill (that accusation came this past week) or really passionate about something they don't understand. As the glory of God and the building of His Kingdom is the greatest work in which we can engage, we make it a priority to do that both in the world and in the church, so we get up early to share the Word with the world, and then go off to church to marvel in the work of God in the lives of His people and give Him the praise, honor, and worship that is due only to God.
The hard part about my health condition is that I usually walk with a rolling walker, sometimes with just a cane if the walker won't work where we are. Such was the case yesterday as we recently had a good Nor'easter storm which dumped copious amounts of snow here in our area. After the storm, the sidewalks were buried, leaving only about a foot of bare asphalt between myself and the cars coming to the intersection. I placed my daughters farther from the roadways, and attempted to make a place for myself to stand safely in the snowbank. I packed down snow under my feet and rammed my cane into the dense snow such that it stuck firmly.
Now that I was planted, I could hold my sign, smiling and waving at those who saw "Holy, Holy, Holy is the LORD GOD Almighty, the Earth is filled with His glory!" all the while marveling at the snow covered mountain in the background, singing "How great Thou art" and a few other songs. This didn't last long, as I knew I was unstable here, and really shouldn't have put myself in such a bad position. I crossed back to where Virginia was, and found a more safe place for myself to stand, where I could lean on a telephone pole if necessary. We continued on this way until a car pulled up, driven by an old friend who is a respected leader in the cult of "Jehovah's Witnesses".
As my friend pulled over into the parking lot where our van was parked, where Sara and the littles were practicing their catechism, Virginia and I crossed to where everyone else was and began to talk. We made some small talk and greeted one another with a friendly handshake, talked about why we were out there, and ended up talking for 20 minutes thereafter about the reason we love our friend and desire for him to leave the cult which he has dedicated decades of countless hours endorsing and recruiting people to their false religion and false Gospel.
We talked about the deity of Jesus Christ, which my friend denies, and I invited him to come over to talk where we could be inside, warm, and we could get off to church. We were not yet late for church, but only made it in time to say hello to a few saints before it happened. I was able to endure the excitement of talking, being challenged, rebutting my friend and rebuking him for robbing Jesus of the glory due to Him as God. I urged him to repent and stop denying who Jesus really is. We have walked through the Scriptures together on many topics over the 12 years I have periodically spoken with my friend, but I was indignant over his rebellion this day, as he was relegating the Creator to the place of a mere creation, an angel. I know that my body cannot endure much challenge lately, and though we finished our conversation, I was already headed downhill.
As we arrived at church, the spell came on suddenly and hard. God has always been gracious to me in keeping me conscious and able when needed, as if adrenaline can keep pumping me up until the valve blows, so to speak, and the pressure release valve opened all the way as I felt my energy flowing away from my brain, to the arms and legs, leaving me seated on my walker having to be held up. This continued for some time into the singing and prayer, and as I was coming back to normal, another friend from church came out barely walking, being led by her son, and dropped on the floor in a seizure. Sara and a few others tended to our friend, keeping her safe, and monitoring the situation as it is sometimes necessary to call an ambulance for our friend if her seizures persist.
With all this going on, I totally missed the sermon, hearing a few stray phrases but still trying to keep conscious. We went to church to sing together, and I sat in the entry on my walker barely upright. We went to hear the preaching, and I missed most all of it. We went to pray together, yet I could barely concentrate with 6 children (being mostly well behaved) sitting on the floor in the entry/library while Sara helped our friend, so distracted that I began to wonder why we were there. Usually I feel pretty well for church, and enjoy talking to folks, singing, praying, and I love hearing the Word of God preached for all to hear and heed, but today seemed like a wash. However, I then began to think about this verse (you thought I forgot what I was talking about, and I did) and realized that there are days when the best thing you can do is whatever you can do.
I began the day feeling great, getting up early, enjoying time with the family before church. I love to be in the open air preaching, holding Gospel signs at intersections, or talking with people about the Lord. Yesterday, however, I believe God was teaching me something else. As my friend recovered for some time, we began to talk. We spoke of God's provision of help for us, of how some might consider people with special needs and children more of a distraction than a benefit to the church. We spoke of the blessing of weakness that makes us rely on the Lord for every step, every hour, every day. I began to think again about this passage, "The Lord upholds all who are falling and raises up all who are bowed down." I began to think over God's protection for me when I was in the snowbank where I should never have gone. I thought of the opportunity to proclaim the deity of Jesus Christ from the Word of God to a man who denies it. Sara was able to minister to a friend in need. The children watched, and some participated, in caring for those who have fallen (literally) and those who are bowed down.
While the meaning of this verse is not necessarily about those who are physically fallen or bowed down, it is often in such physical situations of need that we see the spiritual nature of the events around us. As I sat on my walker unable to stand, I thought of how God keeps me upright, not in stature so much as by walking upright in His sight. Our gracious Lord does this through the ministry of the Holy Spirit to apply the truths of God's Word to my heart and life. As my friend was literally bowed down, robbed of consciousness and ability to control her body, I thanked the Lord that even in such physical turmoil, we can enjoy the peace of God which raises Christians not only to their feet, but to the heavenly places in Christ Jesus.
As everyone around us was singing, listening to the sermon, and enjoying fellowship, at first I felt sorry for myself and like a burden to others. I don't know if my friend feels the same way, but I have heard people talk about me when I am brought low, not knowing I can still hear even though I can't speak or move. In my training as a CNA, we were told that the last sense to go in those who are dying is hearing. When I think of that and sit or lie with other able bodied people all around me walking, talking, speaking clearly and being able to serve others, I sometimes forget the promises of God for a short while. But by God's grace to me, He always brings His Word to me, just what I need and just when I need it. He picks me up when I fall, often by the hands of others who wish to help even if they don't know what might be helpful. He raises me up each time when I am bowed low.
God is faithful! Always.
Today, we have some plans to minister to those in need. We are headed over to my former place of employment where a sister in Christ is being cared for as she is laid low. We want to bring her cards, sing for her, and pray for her. We plan next to visit another friend who has been physically been brought low, but whose passion for God's Word is often revealed in sharing with us. Such has often been the case, when those who need help the most are the ones ministering even in their weakness. I say these are our plans as we never know if I will be able to be part of these activities. I may have to stay in the van, unable to participate. I may get inside and collapse onto the walker, becoming a burden or fear to my former coworkers and our friend who we came to encourage. I may feel great and make people wonder why I am unable to work because they haven't seen me for a while and don't understand the nature of my disability. I don't know what will come, but I know that if God allows me to fall, He will also pick me up again. If He leaves me in the van while the family all goes to visit folks, then He will use me in that bowed down state and raise me up when He sees fit to do so.
I don't know if my rambling this morning makes sense to anyone else, but I felt more clear when I began to write and am currently fading. I don't know what God has in store for me today, but by His grace, I will trust Him to lift me up when I fall and, if He wills, to be used by Him to do the same for others. It is my prayer that I can be part of God's work to bless our friends in need. In strength and in weakness, God is able to use us for His work, that He would be glorified in our weakness, that His strength be revealed in and through us.
I pray that this post is a help to someone, whether those who wish to understand what it is like to be brought low, those who minister to others in difficult times, or just to know that even in the hard times, we trust in God and seek to honor Him in our words and deeds. God alone deserves all glory, honor, and praise, for He is the One who gives us each day, each breath. May we use them all to His glory!
