The Christian patriarch of our day has an uphill battle ahead of him. With feminism taking a firm hold in most cultures around the world and the majority of the church, patriarchy may well be the most misunderstood Biblical teaching of our day. The word "patriarch" for some stirs up an image of a strict legalist who runs his home with an iron fist. Some in conservative Christian circles have laid hold of the term, but make special notice to distance themselves from certain aspects of patriarchy as demonstrated and prescribed in God's Word. This is sad to me, as in my opinion one of the necessary characteristics of a true patriarch is that of ruling well his own household, a belief which has been compromised to include egalitarianism.
Just as the characteristics of Biblical elders and deacons, the issue is less about how many children a man may have been blessed with (as some have held the standard), and more of how one cares for and manages that which is under his authority. The patriarch has been given a great responsibility from the Lord, a stewardship to lead his family in the ways of the Lord by teaching and example. If a man does not love his wife nor train his children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, he has surely failed to accomplish the goals which were given to his charge.
The issue of headship is not one of worth nor even ability, but of obedience and faithfulness. A weak and simple man who will be faithful to obey all that God has given to his charge is truly more effective in representing Christ than would one with great intellect and accolades of men that relies on his own strength and disobeys the Lord in favor of doing things his own way.
A man is truly strong when he recognizes that he is weak, humbly allowing the strength of God to be manifested in his life. After all, the picture of a husband and wife is to proclaim Christ and the church. With the Lord Jesus Christ as our supreme example, we fall on our faces in humility and gratitude for the privilege to serve our families as Christ served the church. He is the King of Kings, yet His triumphal entry into Jerusalem was on the foal of a donkey. The One whose blood would cleanse away every stain of sin took upon Himself the duties of a servant, washing the feet of those under His authority. These pictures of humility and exemplary service surely show us that we should not be prideful or harsh to those under our charge.
In contrast, Jesus also said "If you love me, you will keep my commandments." Surely, the Savior is trustworthy in all things. Though husbands and fathers are surely human and quite capable of mistakes, nevertheless they are the trusted servants to whom Christ Himself has entrusted with a charge of headship and leadership. Thus, the godly man who understands his place will be trustworthy. There surely will be conflict and disagreement in some situations that arise in the home. The mark of a true patriarch will not be that there is never conflict, but rather how he leads through that conflict.
