I often lean pretty heavy on the men anyway, as I am a man who takes my role very seriously before the Lord and can see my own failures too often. I wish to lead with love and grace for the protection and edifying of my family, and feel the burden of responsibility on a husband and father may be even greater than I had previously thought. How much we need the Lord's help as we are incapable of accomplishing this or anything else in the flesh!
Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing."
Ephesians 5 says that wives submit to their husbands, 1) as to the Lord, 2) in everything. This command is not worded the same way regarding submitting to one another or to those in authority over us in other passages. Those passages are seemingly more general and in part seem ambiguous as to when we should submit one to another, whereas the husband/wife and Christ/church are specified as "in everything" We ought to obey God rather than man as the apostles did in Acts 5:29 , yet I have been considering whether this is the same with a husband and wife as it would be with other Christians.
The following passage is what got me thinking as it says that the man who is disobedient to the Word should still be obeyed. This passage explains:
1 Peter 3: "1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands(not all men); that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
5 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:"
Here Peter speaks of a woman respecting and being in subjection to her husband even when he is disobedient to the word, being won without a word. It speaks of trust in God rather than crafting a plan that is wise in human understanding. This mindset does not agree with our culture, not even church culture where women often feel that if their husband is not leading well that they should fill in the role for the men.
What then can a man do if he has not lived up to his role? He can recognize his fault, agree with God and His Word, and proceed in the power of the Holy Spirit as he has been called to do. It must be understood that if the men will not see their error and take up the lead for their family, it does not fall to the women to take over, it just means the men need to step up! David would not harm God's anointed man in Saul, though Saul sought and attempted many times to kill him, and this serves as an extreme yet appropriate example of trusting the Lord even when people fail.
There are many things a woman may still do for her family that fit within this structure, but examining each decision through the lens of God's Word will yield better results than using human wisdom and logic, which so often is contrary to God's wisdom and commands.
This message from Peter does not sound to me like those men who "ask the boss" permission or fearfully avoid making decisions, but men who value their wives counsel and lead in God's ways even when his wife disagrees. Men will give an account to God for their actions and how they lead their families.Wives will give no such account and should consider how blessed they are not to have that accounting with God.
The notion of husband and wife submitting to one another is an incorrect understanding of Ephesians 5 and is contradictory to Scripture. Placing the general submissive relationship of all saints with the husband and wife scenario could pollute people's perception of God Himself.
1 Corinthians 11: 3 "But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. (note that God and Christ are one, as husband and wife are one, with different roles but unity)
4 Every man praying or prophesying, having his head covered, dishonoureth his head.
5 But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoureth her head: for that is even all one as if she were shaven.
6 For if the woman be not covered, let her also be shorn: but if it be a shame for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her be covered.
7 For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man.
8 For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man.
9 Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.
Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing."
Ephesians 5 says that wives submit to their husbands, 1) as to the Lord, 2) in everything. This command is not worded the same way regarding submitting to one another or to those in authority over us in other passages. Those passages are seemingly more general and in part seem ambiguous as to when we should submit one to another, whereas the husband/wife and Christ/church are specified as "in everything" We ought to obey God rather than man as the apostles did in Acts 5:29 , yet I have been considering whether this is the same with a husband and wife as it would be with other Christians.
The following passage is what got me thinking as it says that the man who is disobedient to the Word should still be obeyed. This passage explains:
1 Peter 3: "1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands(not all men); that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
5 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:"
Here Peter speaks of a woman respecting and being in subjection to her husband even when he is disobedient to the word, being won without a word. It speaks of trust in God rather than crafting a plan that is wise in human understanding. This mindset does not agree with our culture, not even church culture where women often feel that if their husband is not leading well that they should fill in the role for the men.
First of all, we must recognize that a wife in this situation could be wrong in her assertion of her husband's error. The point is also often missed that the problem could be a disobedient wife. Let us not forget the curse on Eve and her daughters "and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee." The charge is given to the man to rule over his wife, and the responsibility is left on his head if things go wrong. If I don't agree with how our local judge does his job, that does not mean I have the authority to take his place. Much more so, a man who is ordained by God as head of his home cannot be disregarded even if he is wrong, which I fully admit happens often.
As Paul wrote in Romans 11:22 "Behold therefore the goodness and severity of God: on them which fell, severity; but toward thee, goodness, if thou continue in his goodness!"
and again in verse 33: "O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! how unsearchable are his judgments, and his ways past finding out! Whether or not we understand how and why God has placed this authority in order, we are bound to obey it and see that He is always just and righteous!
What then can a man do if he has not lived up to his role? He can recognize his fault, agree with God and His Word, and proceed in the power of the Holy Spirit as he has been called to do. It must be understood that if the men will not see their error and take up the lead for their family, it does not fall to the women to take over, it just means the men need to step up! David would not harm God's anointed man in Saul, though Saul sought and attempted many times to kill him, and this serves as an extreme yet appropriate example of trusting the Lord even when people fail.
There are many things a woman may still do for her family that fit within this structure, but examining each decision through the lens of God's Word will yield better results than using human wisdom and logic, which so often is contrary to God's wisdom and commands.
This message from Peter does not sound to me like those men who "ask the boss" permission or fearfully avoid making decisions, but men who value their wives counsel and lead in God's ways even when his wife disagrees. Men will give an account to God for their actions and how they lead their families.Wives will give no such account and should consider how blessed they are not to have that accounting with God.
The notion of husband and wife submitting to one another is an incorrect understanding of Ephesians 5 and is contradictory to Scripture. Placing the general submissive relationship of all saints with the husband and wife scenario could pollute people's perception of God Himself.
1 Corinthians 11: 3 "But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. (note that God and Christ are one, as husband and wife are one, with different roles but unity)
4 Every man praying or prophesying, having his head covered, dishonoureth his head.
5 But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoureth her head: for that is even all one as if she were shaven.
6 For if the woman be not covered, let her also be shorn: but if it be a shame for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her be covered.
7 For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man.
8 For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man.
9 Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.
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This is not an issue of worth, value, gifting for service, love, or anything but authority. The wife is co-heir with her husband of Christ, salvation, and righteousness. She is precious, to be honored and loved, but she is not to be placed over her husband in authority for any reason.
A husband certainly can delegate jobs to his wife as she is able and available, as Christ has given us jobs to do and equipped us by His grace to carry out all things that we are commanded to do. Still the authority and the responsibility will always lie on Him and the husband in kind. What a beautiful picture of Christ and His Bride we have here, that we serve as He gives us ability, but always under His authority. Christ has given Himself for us in death, but more so in life
